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The current year signifies a full decade since the word “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. At the time, the notion that someone could abruptly cease communication with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the peak of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, finding a mate has only become more confounding – an oftentimes fruitless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Gen Z, a cohort who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a male identity crisis, and a coordinated attack on the rights of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier landscape than their millennial forerunners could ever imagine. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with terms like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a detailed guide to the phrases this generation is using to discuss love, intimacy and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – In the view of gen Z, romance's ideal is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon connected to a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s reply is interested or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while oozing mystery and independence. (She may yet have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This refers to seeking out someone who aids you proactively. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people form a link while doing chores, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do affordable dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 80s yuppie excess, it refers to partners who forgo having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of playing it cool: embracing communication, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral quirks signaling a potential partner is bad news. Such as calling their exes unstable, poor gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits confirm your decision to pursue a partner. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, largely inoffensive idiosyncrasies. For instance being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same things or people that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

G

Geese – A band many young men likes.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women's increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Icks – Random and often mundane dealbreakers that immediately shut down any sense of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly thoughtful act.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {